Back to School Can Be Hard
Why are my children more emotional lately? Why am I less patient? Why are we all so tired?! Chances are this is all part of the transition back to school. The following tips can help make this period (which can take several weeks) more manageable.
Back-to-school time can be very difficult for families. Transitioning from the summertime schedules and open-ended days to the school routine is a big change and change can be challenging. For young children, the transition from being at home every day to being at school for several hours can impact behavior, attitude, and mood. This can affect parents as you watch this unfold in front of you.
Here are some quick “touchpoints” to keep in mind to help smooth out those back-to-school blues.
1) Expect It.
You can expect that your child might be tired and grumpy. He/she might complain about school, the teachers, and even other students and friends. This is common. Your child is getting up early and is expending energy to engage in the environment and attend for more time during the day. He/she is trying to integrate all that is happening and adapt to this new routine, making sense of the changes.
2) Be Patient.
For children entering a new environment, absolutely everything is new: new teachers, new materials, new routines, new expectations. These routines and expectations can be intimidating and overwhelming. The trust and security children had with a previous teacher or classmates is only now initiating with the new teachers and/or new peers. Children, like adults, can be resistant to change. However, with patience as a key ingredient, change will bring growth and refinement.
3) Stay Positive. (But Listen First)
The best thing parents can do to help their child during the back-to-school transition is to use positive and encouraging words about school. Children need to know that parents and teachers are a “team” and have the same overall objectives in mind. A positive parent/teacher relationship helps children succeed and feel good about school. Parents can initiate positive conversations rather than reactive. Talk about upcoming events, discuss activities that have happened, and the general “goings-on” of a school day. If your child’s comments turn negative, be sure to listen first, then try to turn conversation into something more encouraging.
4) Avoid the Toxic.
In the classroom, we often call negative talk “toxic”. We discuss how toxic words can not only affect our own mindset, but it can also affect others around us. Complaining, whining, bragging, gossip, put-downs, are all on the “toxic” list. We provide time in the classroom for students to practice compliments and acknowledgements. Parents, too, can set aside time to practice using positive talk. Providing sentence starters can be helpful for younger children: “I like it when…”, “The best part of my day was…”
5) Get Creative.
Parents can also use artwork, work plans, or papers coming home to start conversations. Modeling positive communication in your own life is another way to encourage the development of your child’s management of and approach to change. Share with your child about how you look at new situations and respond to others, both negative and positive. Consistent family routines such as dinner time, bed time, car rides, parent/child reading, etc are a great opportunity to share with one another with calm, positive, and encouraging conversations.
6) Pray!
Your home is the ecclesia domestia, the home church. Keeping this in mind and knowing that God is always present with you, your spouse, and your children shifts the focus and keeps us grounded in what it means to be people of faith living out the call to holiness each and every day. Our lives are a journey of faith…back to school is one part of that journey. Rooted in our catholic identity remember…
- God has a plan for your family. Trust in him and he will act.
- Be patient with one another. God gave us our spouses and children to help knock off our own sharp edges.
- Save the good stuff for the family. We often come home having exhausted our supply of kindness on strangers.
- Lead with joy in speech, expression and action.
- Give praise and thanks to God, pray as a family each day. Even one decade of the Rosary at night helps the children see mom and dad’s main priority.
The bottom line is that back-to-school can be hard. It is a time of transition for all. Transitions are part of everyday life, a time to develop important life skills and grow holistically. Remember – perfection is not the goal. Reserve “perfect” for God, and remember all will be well and your community at GSCM is here for you!
The school year has begun and let’s all make it a great year for “growth in wisdom, age, and favor…”